This will be a short lesson on depression. For a month or so I have been listening to sermons on 'dying to self' and 'surrender' and I guess because of my age and it's getting more difficult for me to understand the deep things of God, I thought I was getting it but yesterday I found out that I wasn't getting all of it especially on these two subjects. I decided I needed to share what happened to me and how I got help.
I got up yesterday morning and a dark cloud engulfed me, a dark depressive mental cloud. I couldn't even read the Bible without crying. It was the deepest and darkest pit I have ever been in and I couldn't shake it. I asked my son if he would take me out for the day to the mall and just let me get away from this ugly spirit. So he did. I got some things that I needed and we had lunch there and gradually it started lifting a little then I ran into a sweet friend and that helped a little more but never mentioned to anyone the pit I was in.
Then by God's grace and promptings my daughter came by this morning and I hadn't seen her for about five weeks, she's been gone and got back Friday last week. After we caught up on all the news I asked her if she could help me with a question I had. She said, 'I'll try'. So I said, 'How do you surrender or die to self? In a nutshell she said, 'For one thing you have to know that God loves you, no matter what you have done, He loves you. Take your eyes off your self and how you are doing spiritually. Don't think about you at all, your salvation is not about you it's about Jesus and what He is doing in you. Don't take your eyes off Jesus, Take them off yourself and others. Concentrate on Jesus, keep looking up. Let Him do the work in you and you just surrender to His working in you. Ask to be filled with His Holy Spirit every morning and keep your eyes turned up all the time on Him. (In your mind, you can't walk around doing things and run into stuff, In other words keep Him in your thoughts, all the time as you do your work or whatever you are doing, and keep looking to Him for guidance and direction.
She was baptized not too long ago and I have never seen a person so transformed into what she is today and she was. She told me to day that she prayed before she went under the water that God would baptize her with His Spirit and she said He did. I believe it because I have never in my 86 years someone transformed like she was. I am so blessed to have a daughter like her.
You are welcome to use her experience in your life if you are under depression or if Satan is messing with your life in anyway, this will work, I am whole again and praise the Lord for using her to help me. Grandma Joan.
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