Hebrews 12:11 " Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
SC 47 "Many are inquiring, 'How am I to make the surrender of myself to God?' You desire to give yourself to Him, but you are weak in moral power, in slavery to doubt, and controlled by the habits of your life of sin. Your promises and resolutions are like ropes of sand. You cannot control your thoughts, your impulses, your affections. The knowledge of your broken promise and forfeited pledges weakens your confidence in your own sincerity, and causes you to feel that God cannot accept you; but your need not despair. What you need to understand is the true force of the will. This is the governing power in the nature of man, the power of decision, or of choice. Everything depends on the right action of the will. The power of choice God has given to men; it is theirs to exercise. You cannot change your heart, you cannot of yourself give to God its affections; but you can choose to serve Him. You can give Him your will' He will then work in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure. Thus your whole nature will be brought under the control of the Spirit of Christ; your affections will be centered upon Him, your thoughts will be in harmony with Him.
Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go, but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians.
Through the right exercise of the will, an entire change may be made in your life. By yielding up your will to Christ, you ally yourself with the power that is above all principalities and powers. You will have strength from above to hold you steadfast, and thus through constant surrender to God you will be enabled to live the new life,, even the life of faith."
Pray for the understanding of these thoughts and God will help you on your journey. I read this, years ago, but didn't pray for understanding and I just could not get it, I couldn't tell you how many times I have read this, many, many times but now as I pray for understanding and am sincere in my prayer, God has shown me the way to salvation is not hard, it is just a matter of choosing which path you want to take and be sincere about your decision. God bless you when you read this blog, read it over and over until you get it. You will rejoice in your journey, I know. Grandma Joan