You are not alone, I say God has forgiven me but really what happens, I don't forgive myself and that in turn probably means that I don't feel forgiven at all. Otherwise why would I feel so bad about something I have been forgiven for. Does anyone here understand that feeling? Now, I know that I have been forgiven, but for a long time I kept playing over and over in my mind some things that I was so sorry for but couldn't ask for forgiveness because the person was not here any more or I lost track of them. I have even tracked down people that it was important for me to speak to about the way I had treated them. Then there are those that have passed away and I can't say a word to, but I can ask God to forgive me but there was a time when I could not shake the feeling of the wrong I had done and felt unforgiven. I know there are a lot of people that feel the same way, unforgiven.
There are several reasons that we feel unforgiven, one is that we have separated ourselves from God in that we don't spend time with Him and therefore don't think that He is interested in us. Another reason could be that we don't trust Him to forgive us or that we have made such horrible mistakes that He can't forgive us.
1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Me must take God at His word and believe Him, unbelief is another reason we don't feel forgiven.
Here is a text that I love and gives me so much encouragement about the way He treats us, it is so wonderful I know that is what He is doing for me, so here it is and let it soak in at any age, you don't have to be elderly, you will fit in at any age.
Isaiah 46:4 "Even to your old age, I am He, and even to grey hairs I will carry you! I have made and I will bear; even I will carry you and deliver you." That doesn't mean just in old age will He carry us but up to old age and even before we have grey hairs He will carry us. So let's not worry about not being forgiven. God has promised if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive. Let's believe Him and when He says He will carry us, it means when we are weak and can't navigate ourselves through all the problems we are facing, He will carry us through them and we will come through victorious, because He has cleansed us from all unrighteousness. Hold on to His hand and believe what He says. Grandma Joan